$4,000
Glennville, Georgia
Category
-
Mileage
-
Posted Over 1 Month
I should start by saying that if you are looking for an "everyday grocery getter and soccer mom hauler" you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words, "MEAT & POTATOES". This is the All American chariot of the free world.You are not dealing with any ordinary, cookie cutter Expy son. This thing was forged from a single block of all American Tungsten Steel. Real sturdy! Body on frame like every true American vehicle should be! From that day forward my life has never been the same. Winch yourself off that couch and see if you can handle this Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer, the tank among tanks.So if you are looking for a rice burning hatch back, a solar powered liberal mobile, or even a Hyundai crossover keep on looking my friend this thing is a piece of red white and blue Americana Machinery. This baby has a cherry bomb vortex exhaust for being slick and an electric cut out for being BAD ASS. This baby's pulse is pumping 4.6 liters of uncensored raw fuel through her gnarly 8 cylinder nuclear power plant. And rest assured this is no sloppy automatic . . . you command her to obey, with your calloused hand planted firmly on the shifter. And she will obey, the first time, every time. She immediately shifts firmly into each gear under your command.It has front and rear A/C but are you kidding me. . ..Really! If you want to blow the sweat off your brow, you do it the old fashioned way: windows down. "What if it rains?". . .You whiney bitch! I told you to stop reading. . . Any man who drives this beast doesn't give a damn about rain. Not even skin melting acid rain, Cause he's already dripping wet in blood, sweat, dip spit, and fish guts.If you are looking for the kind of SUV that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the "carpet doesn't get wet and soggy" Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of shit. Cause this thing has New Transmission4 New shocksNew Idler ArmNew Pitman ArmNew Tie rod end bushings (Inner and outer)New sway bar bushingsNew Upper Ball joints (Both sides)New Lower ball joints (Both sides)New upper A-arms (Both sides)New Spark PlugsNew upper and lower radiator hosesNew thermostatClass 6 Towing pkg.Shes got a big ass transmission cooler from her big sister, the Ford Excursion. The cooler, mated with the K&N cold air kit keeps the tranny cool when you're haulin ass up and down Mount Everest with your 40ft toy hauler. Haulin ass is what this thing does best and she won't break a sweat pullin your annoying neighbor's house out to the swamp. . .. And back. . ..If you're thinking about shiny chrome handle grips or bumpers for her, think again. The black tow hooks come hand forged in a blacksmith shop in Wayne, Michigan over a wood burnin fire. They come in handy when you have to tie off and repel back down Mount Everest to rescue that pansy toting civic owner who thought he could survive the outdoors. Also if you get deployed you can piggy back this war wagon on a deuce and a half and chain her down tight from the four corners, so you don't lose her when your convoy gets hit by a taliban roadside suicide bomber.And forget about putting one of those "Outdoor life/NRA" stickers on this machine cause when you're spotted in this American Tank there will be no questions, no further explanation required, people will understand and get out of your way. . . . .real quick.If you think you're ready to park this panty hauler on your tract of land. If you buy this Ford you better go get ready for changes around your lair, cause this shit will be happening. What will be Happening? Glad you asked. . ..1. More chest hair.2. You're growing a beard.3. Meat Only Diet.4. T-Rex for a pet.5. You're taking a job at the lumber mill.6. Your Truck carries ten kegs.8. Catch more fish.9. Wire bristled toothbrush.12. All male offspring.13. Chiseled jaw line.14. Not giving a damn.15. Flesh turning to steel.16. Higher salary17. Promotions.18. More golfing19. More killing stuff.20. More dead animals in the KITCHEN freezer.21. More tools in your garage.22. Bigger TV23. Chuck Norris.24. John McCain25. Steaks for dinner.26. Winning the Lottery.27. Building shit out of stone.28. Riding Lawn Mower.29. Bon Fires in cul-de-sac.30. Bar Fights.31. Craftsman Tools.32. Welding stuff.33. Digging holes.34. Huge Piece of meat.Put your GPS back in your purse because this thing has a compass bolted into the ceiling. Sounds real good doesn't it?This Ford has carried me through 232,000 miles of battlefield twice as gruesome as the second half of the movie "300?. . ..And just like a trusty steed this juggernaut has never left me stranded. EVER. . .If you think you've worn her out you drag this beast back to me in any condition. And I'll handle the rest.But if you think you're going to get to whip this mule you better pony up Forty Five Hundred Dollars. . . American Cash. Not interested in anything else, so don't even think about it.Phone: 912 237 six3five9 JC
